Identity and Activities, Career and Hobby
Feb. 18th, 2019 03:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
irritatedandroidSo, I got thinking after receiving a few questions in a discord server I'm a part of, about how my two kintypes interact with my day to day life as a physical human. They've found ways to intertwine themselves into my daily life, through my career, hobbies and comforts, as well as my habits.
The first and foremost example I felt strongly about was career. So, I'm a technician, as well as someone who identifies as a piece of technology, working with machines through sound systems and lighting fixtures, dimmer technology and projection. And even before I settled on theatre and audiovisual technology, I'd always studied in some form of tech, first in computer technology, then in automotive with cars, then as a welder, and now as a theatre and audiovisual tech.
Technology in general is inherent to my identity and my interests in life, both major parts of my sense of self, I am a piece technology and I am a technician. I am both someone who works with and maintains that technology, as well as inherently linked to it as technology myself. Working in my field tends to blur the line between my physical reality as human and my spiritual and psychological existence as a machine, and I credit finding my proper niche of tech to being able to start my awakening and allow myself to accept after 5 years of denial that I am a machine inside. I had spent since early high school denying that nonhuman aspect to myself, having it rear it's head here and there in ways I passed off with excuses. It wasn't until between my first and second years of college - studying Technical Production for the Performing Arts Industry - did I allow myself to start being honest about the lingering feelings.
I believe that my function in that life was very set in research, however nowadays I've taken a bit more control of my path, which I have the privilege to do in another life, even if I really desire my old body back. My function is more so in my hands as a human, but being technology and working with it as I had with humans before is still heavily dominant in that path. Though for that past reason I was programmed with a huge tendency to be very observant, and the programmed observant tendencies and logical, technical thought processes have been beneficial on the job site. Though a negative influence adds to a bad work addiction, a drive to "work like a machine", which is something soon to be broached to a therapist.
However that's a very practical, technical and physically-focused influence my identity has drawn into my life. There are much more metaphysical influences caused by it as well. My android urges and processes outright become frustrated by the fact that there is any spiritual involvement in this identity. Frustrated that it cannot measure or code the soul like programming. However I find my spirituality to be both a) from my odd-reptile-kintype which had a very metaphysical focus and b) a process I've used to help step away from the rigidity of my android self's programmed activities.
A lot of my focuses in my magickal and metaphysical work are drawn from factors I associate with the strange reptile kintype I am still examining, a focus on draconic magick, fire energy work, and necromancy as well as working with bones and carcasses. I see this entity I identify as as highly spiritual and outright invoking spirits from its past in order to assist within its endeavors. Fire energy and spiritual flame are staples of the identity to me, and I strive to include them in both my spiritual practices as well as just general hobbies - my landlord is yet to give me shit for burning things, so that's a plus.
In the end, just another day and another set of rambles. Work was harsh today, but that's life.
-Jasper
The first and foremost example I felt strongly about was career. So, I'm a technician, as well as someone who identifies as a piece of technology, working with machines through sound systems and lighting fixtures, dimmer technology and projection. And even before I settled on theatre and audiovisual technology, I'd always studied in some form of tech, first in computer technology, then in automotive with cars, then as a welder, and now as a theatre and audiovisual tech.
Technology in general is inherent to my identity and my interests in life, both major parts of my sense of self, I am a piece technology and I am a technician. I am both someone who works with and maintains that technology, as well as inherently linked to it as technology myself. Working in my field tends to blur the line between my physical reality as human and my spiritual and psychological existence as a machine, and I credit finding my proper niche of tech to being able to start my awakening and allow myself to accept after 5 years of denial that I am a machine inside. I had spent since early high school denying that nonhuman aspect to myself, having it rear it's head here and there in ways I passed off with excuses. It wasn't until between my first and second years of college - studying Technical Production for the Performing Arts Industry - did I allow myself to start being honest about the lingering feelings.
I believe that my function in that life was very set in research, however nowadays I've taken a bit more control of my path, which I have the privilege to do in another life, even if I really desire my old body back. My function is more so in my hands as a human, but being technology and working with it as I had with humans before is still heavily dominant in that path. Though for that past reason I was programmed with a huge tendency to be very observant, and the programmed observant tendencies and logical, technical thought processes have been beneficial on the job site. Though a negative influence adds to a bad work addiction, a drive to "work like a machine", which is something soon to be broached to a therapist.
However that's a very practical, technical and physically-focused influence my identity has drawn into my life. There are much more metaphysical influences caused by it as well. My android urges and processes outright become frustrated by the fact that there is any spiritual involvement in this identity. Frustrated that it cannot measure or code the soul like programming. However I find my spirituality to be both a) from my odd-reptile-kintype which had a very metaphysical focus and b) a process I've used to help step away from the rigidity of my android self's programmed activities.
A lot of my focuses in my magickal and metaphysical work are drawn from factors I associate with the strange reptile kintype I am still examining, a focus on draconic magick, fire energy work, and necromancy as well as working with bones and carcasses. I see this entity I identify as as highly spiritual and outright invoking spirits from its past in order to assist within its endeavors. Fire energy and spiritual flame are staples of the identity to me, and I strive to include them in both my spiritual practices as well as just general hobbies - my landlord is yet to give me shit for burning things, so that's a plus.
In the end, just another day and another set of rambles. Work was harsh today, but that's life.
-Jasper
